There is a point when the effects of sleep deprivation become downright entertaining. I feel almost drunk. My sleep-craving brain is dysfunctioning, and to exacerbate the problem, I’m soaking it in caffeine. Funny words, clumsy but jittery movements, pale face, dark undereye circles.
We are on morning-after number three of an attempt at weaning Shortcake. The weaning has nothing to do with her age (she’s 21 months), and everything to do with her teeth. Her teeth just can’t handle nursing all night long. Unfortunately, free access to the jugs is really the only way she sleeps. Yup. It has been fun.
So how in the world am I feeling so inspired? I know this, it is almost predictable, even. Still I always forget, until I am here, what a profound place the darkness of a breakdown can be. Letting go of all but the basics, functioning in ego-less survival mode, I welcome the freedom that comes when there are no expectations. I doodle mindlessly on the cover of the Urban Outfitters catalog, and have a lightbulb moment. I step in a patch of mud in the backyard, and an entire photo shoot reveals itself to me.
catalog doodles, which made my mind wander...
What in the world am I going to do without this baby-induced sleep deprivation? I’ve relied on it for years, and soon it will be gone! What will force me turn inward? Meditation? Hypnosis? Vision questing? Fasting? Drugs?
Yeah, maybe drugs. That would be fun.
OH! And by the way, check out the new “Blog Crush” page I added to the menu bar. OK?
I have lots of thoughts- but mostly just understanding. yeah.
we’ll just bookmark that conversation for later
‘You could just stay awake for the heck of it just to reminisce. Or I could call you when I’m up late at night w/the new baby and remind you what it’s like.
Um, hon, I’m obviously way behind you in the kids area, however, I have this feeling that sleep deprivation doesn’t go away after they sleep through the night. Because, pretty soon Ki is going to be dating. Okay, well maybe the sleep dep will just transfer to the principal. Nevermind. You’ll have to think of something else :p Drugs.
Dxm for mind expansion.
Pot for meditation, joy, peace.
And coke just for fun.
Thank you: Nina, for the promise, Cate, for the offer, Amy for the hope, Danny, for the clarification.
thank you. thank you for acknowledging that you have a toddler who still nurses all night long.
i’m on my third, who is 17mos. the other 2 are 14yrs and 11yrs. trust me. it took that long to recoup from the sleep dep induced by the two of them.
one day i will have abrain again. until then i swim in the waters of silliness, crankiness and lala-land that makes me look at a flower and go , that’s so beautiful, it just opened the doors to the infinite wonders of the universe for me….