quotes « And Her Head Popped Off

Posts Tagged ‘quotes’

momentarily awakened (and then lost again)

March 8, 2010

I’ve written those (first) two words into a poem—abandoned and reworked and abandoned and rediscovered and (you get the idea)—since I was sixteen. They have new meaning for me every time I write them.

Tonight, my newly-formed guitar string finger calluses tap-tap-tapped on the keyboard, as I began to love on my little-novel-that-could again. I wrote: Momentarily awakened in the moonless night . . .

And on cue, Shortcake woke up, calling to me from the bed. “Mommy?” I ran to her, snuggled up and kissed her cheek. “Mommy’s here,” I whispered. Sleepily, she put her arm on mine, and said, smiling, “Oh. There y’are.”

Then, Dimples woke up, febrile and coughing, with a sore ear. After ibuprofen and forehead kisses, he smiled and said, “Mom? My number one favorite thing is drawing.”

I wrote all of the above last night, and returned to Dimples’ side, eventually falling asleep with my ass on his floor and my head on his bed. And so I don’t actually know where I was going with this train of thought. Which reminds me. This weekend, traveling home from a blissful day alone on a snowy beach, I got lost in the boonies of Wisconsin. I ended up on a windy, hilly road in a thick forest, and completely lost my sense of direction. It was perfect. I was so far gone, and did not want to be found. Except that I really had to pee. Which reminds me. I’ve got to tell you about our lost-backpacking-in-a-blizzard-spring-break-trip sometime. Which reminds me. Of this, which I’ve posted before, maybe last spring:

I’m not lost. I’m exploring. (Jana Stanfield).

tri-x in holga, dusty neg scan, Mowgli

Tags: Dimples, film, holga, how to fly by the seat of your pants, Motherhood, Mowgli, outside, photo, quotes, Shortcake, writing
Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

particularly myself

March 5, 2010

There is no escape. You can’t be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you have to accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and your pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and pain, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing, don’t try to lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen, you are not a Greek, you are not harmonious, or the master of yourself, you are a bird in the storm. Let it storm! Let it drive you! How much you have lied! A thousand times, even in your poems and books, you have played the harmonious man, the wise man, the happy, the enlightened man. In the same way, men attacking in war have played heroes, while their bowels twitched. My God, what a poor ape, what a fencer in the mirror, man is -particularly the artist – particularly the poet – particularly myself!

Herman Hesse, from Wandering

: mowgli, appropriately wild. tri-x pushed in mamiya c330

Tags: face paint, film, i may or may not be losing it, inspiration, Mowgli, photo, quotes
Posted in Creativity, Photography | 7 Comments »

Creative Genius

February 26, 2010

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.

Albert Einstein, What I believe, 1930

Oh, hey! Look! it is still winter. And I am still having a bit of a fling with the weather, apparently. I am maybe even feeling nostalgic for the soon-to pass winter. Weird.

For some visual inspiration intermixed with some delicious science, check out this gorgeous book (but not at our library because I have it right now, ha!):

How full of creative genius is the air in which these are generated! I should hardly admire them more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat.

Henry David Thoreau, Journal, 1856

Tags: i just felt like i needed an extra tag, inspiration, nature, outside, photo, quotes
Posted in Creativity, Photography | 3 Comments »

stirs in her winter sleep

February 22, 2010

She tells her love while half asleep,
     In the dark hours,
          With half words whispered low;

As earth stirs in her winter sleep
     And puts out grass and flowers
          Despite the snow,
          Despite the falling snow.

(Robert Graves)

Characteristically paradoxical, me. I’ve changed my mind. I’m now officially looking forward to spring, whether I like it or not. I just read the above poem last night (in this book), and that is likely what secured it. Yep. I feel it stirring, despite the falling snow. (Either that, or the extra espresso shot from this morning’s latte?)

This dead little flower is just outside my window, and I was sketching it today with the home-from-school-for-a-dentist-appointment kids, and whoops! Hope and Mother Earth made an appearance. Hey there, Mama. Stir it up.

Tags: create, doodle, fertility, how to fly by the seat of your pants, in which i get a little woo-woo, inspiration, kids, Motherhood, nature, quotes
Posted in Creativity, Drawing | 7 Comments »

Use Your Illusion

February 19, 2010

Illusions are art, for the feeling person, and it is by art that you live, if you do. (Elizabeth Bowen)

tri-x film in mamiya 645af. mowgli and a girlie friend.

Today I’m thinking about illusions. The illusions of vision, of art, of social role, of relationship, of should, of connection, of separation, of possession, of acceptance, of proper, of religion, of comfort, of security, of emotion, of praise, of beauty, of insult. Hey! Another one of those lists. I haven’t gone all there-is-no-spoon yet, but I do think I’ll go on a quantum physics kick, now that you mention it.

I’m thinking about how we can become so governed by those illusions, and about what would happen if we . . . weren’t. If we accepted their function when appropriate, loved the illusions for what they were, and then gratefully let them go in due time. “Arigato Zaisho,” if you know what I mean.

I’m thinking, and letting go of a few other . . . thinkings. Oooh, I have a lot more to say here, but I’m operating under the illusion of time, so I must go.

Have the illusion of a happy weekend!

Tags: create, film, how to fly by the seat of your pants, in which i get a little woo-woo, inspiration, kids, Louise, Mowgli, non-pissy, outside, quasi-cheesy, quotes, zen-ish
Posted in Creativity, Motherhood, Photography | 2 Comments »

In Which I Act Normal-blogger-ish

February 17, 2010

. . . and post a cute picture of my kid. See? Just like you thought I couldn’t. Suckas.

Except in the shot, he has just told me that he is Anakin, who he likes because, of course, Anakin goes to the dark side and becomes Darth Vader. And maybe that’s not normal. And maybe it’s not normal that it makes me proud when he says these things. And so, just forget the whole normal thing, already.

mini-me + light saber on tri-x in mamiya c330, neg scan

I’m glad my villain-loving genes run strong in him. There are other similarities, too. heh.

DSC_0565xx

And to quote Nina’s little boy, “I like being negative; that’s my favorite of all! Oh OK, I’ll be positive when I’m done being negative. Now, as I was saying…”

And so as I was saying, the villain is almost always my favorite, too. Not only are they just plain cool, but they’re also just so beautifully complex. Right? Surely you have a favorite villain. Tell me. And your answer can’t be Terri Fischer.

Tags: film, i just felt like i needed an extra tag, Motherhood, Mowgli, photo, quotes, shadow
Posted in Frivolous Nonsense, Motherhood, Photography | 10 Comments »

My Promiscuous Muse

February 15, 2010

I have a promiscuous muse. My muse wants to own every color, work in many media, and in numerous genre. (Mary Klotz)

And hooray for the swing of the pendulum, though broody does hold such a special place in my heart. I’m sure I’ll see it again soon. No sense mourning the lack of mourning. hmpf. And I suppose it is a more pleasant feeling, but it is not so different from last week’s rage-y-ness. Crazy is crazy is crazy. Y’know?

My current task is no longer to prevent falling apart crying in public, but to stop myself from hugging everyone I see. It’s a little ridiculous. I mean, where is the balance? Could we please just find a comfortable little monotonous feeling, maybe? (Or, not. That would be boring.)

Also, I’m having to really work today at focusing on mundane tasks. The voices that are singing melodies and telling me about the scenes I missed, and the images that are poised and ready for paper are all bouncing off of the walls and into one another. I tell them to wait, but they scoff at the dishes and interrupt picture books and serenade diaper changes. And then, when I finally sit down at the piano, for example, they are nowhere to be seen (heard). So I love them, but I sort of hate them, too.

In this state I’ve thought up a few really cheesy ideas. There is one, in particular, related to this gushy omnibenevolence. I’m trying to keep it under wraps, because it sort of makes me cringe, the cheesiness. But I’m afraid I might burst soon. So, you know. Fair warning.

Oh, and P. S., my tube socks have arrived. Hello.

Tags: boom-boom ain't it great to be crazy, doodle, Motherhood, music, non-pissy, quasi-cheesy, quotes, sketchy
Posted in Creativity, Drawing, Motherhood | 6 Comments »

Threshold

February 4, 2010

crumpet on tri-x film pushed, in mamiya tlr

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.

~Muriel Rukeyser (found on this blog, upon which I am currently crushing.)

I often consider the concept of threshold, perhaps because I am drawn to dance alongside it. I wonder about the paradox of a thing, and about the point beyond which the pendulum swings the other way. Things like . . .

breaking point breakdown conception suicide insanity orgasm death critical mass critical condition trigger release love affair hibernation hope for salvation loss of balance fucked up childhood one or the other friendly or flirty funny or crude aloof enlightened condescending wise light dark fear pain belief ecstasy lithium saturation

the level of calcium in a cell of cardiac tissue that, when reached, causes the heart to contract.

the crescendo of a feeling or desire that is secret or repressed or denied or ignored and the little thing that breaks the shell, allowing it to wreak havoc on any pathetic attempt at pretense.

. . . and such.

(ahem)

It is this bottom of the stairwell, head in hands, on the threshold of insanity feeling that inspired this following little ditty a few months ago, and in turn, I decided to write Motherhood, The Musical. (I’m totally kidding, of course, but it has a certain ring, doesn’t it?) It seems the depths of winter are inspiring quite a few of these moments in quite a few of my friends. I wish I could sing this for you, because I crack myself up, but I can’t figure out how to effectively upload music files. Anyway. It’s a waltz:

I’m deep in the bowels of / Motherhood / I’m fertile and sexed and it / Doesn’t feel good / I’ll take all these children / And feed them to wolves / Or I’ll eat them myself / If the damned dogs are full.

Tell me that doesn’t just scream Broadway hit.

Ohmigod. Please don’t call Social Services. I’m just kidding. About the wolves. Thing.

Tags: Crumpet, fertility, film, i may or may not be losing it, Motherhood, music, photo, quotes, shadow
Posted in Motherhood, Photography | 10 Comments »

nevermind

January 26, 2010

well

whatever

nevermind

(Nirvana)

tri-x in mamiya tlr on a foggy day in November

I think I promised something in that last post. Well, whatever, nevermind. I meant the next one.

I shot several frames of play equipment on this roll of film. Looking at all of them made me think about how much fun kids have going around and around and up and down and back and forth . . . and that they’re OK doing the same thing emotionally.

That’s all.

Tags: film, how to fly by the seat of your pants, kids, Motherhood, outside, photo, quotes
Posted in Creativity, Frivolous Nonsense, Photography | 8 Comments »